Muffin joke

Okay here is a joke. I hope very much that it makes you laugh. It would be funnier if I got to tell it to you, but this will have to do.

Two muffins were baking in an oven (I know it's strange that there's only two but work with me here) then one muffin says to the other muffin,
"Oh my gosh, it's really hot in here."
The other muffins responds to the first muffin,
"Oh my gosh, it's a talking muffin!"

Get it? Because he's a talking muffin saying oh my gosh it's a talking muffin. If you didn't get a laugh from that I apoligize. I'm not entirely sure how funny it is when read.

Also have you ever wondered why phoenitec isn't spelt (or is it spelled?) the way it sounds?

Idle thoughts part 2

Seated, listening,
the room not unlike
a university lecture hall.
A student, bored, plays with a pen,
One gets up and goes,
returning moments later.
One's leg jitters impatiently,
nervously.
Speaker remembers life lessons,
phrases and words take shape
"prophet" "code" "drugs" "angels"
All combined to form flowing sentences.
Seeming confidant, looking around;
easygoing, calm,
unlike the picture painted of a past life.
I ask a question, smiling shyly, speak timidly
Answers easily
End discussion

Idle thoughts part 1 (or poems I wrote during a lecture)

Eyes unseeing,
glazed over with boredom,
staring sightlessly
into space,
Seeing nothing and everything in one glance;
Past, Present, and Future,
as I hear a voice recount its life.
Push golden red bangs
out of wide blue eyes,
Lashes, long, coated black,
lids swept with dark shadow,
Bold against the white face,
the only boldness I dare.
Eyes sting, heart clenches
as we strive for dreams
A segment of life
Not yet reached

Excerpt from an unpublished novel by an aspiring author

Two strangers, a man and a woman, meet on a train. His name is Craig and hers is Megan. Megan is on the run and Craig more or less guesses at her predicament, hinting he knows more than she is telling him in their conversation.
Craig: Have you seen 'North by Northwest'?
Megan: No, I haven't.
Craig: Hitchcock at his finest. It is about an ordinary man who becomes involved in intrigue and espionage. Escaping police by train, he meets a beautiful woman who invites him to join her for dinner. Imagine if the roles were reversed. Either way, a woman would have to be very careful to issue or accept an invitation from a stranger.
Megan: What if there wasn't a choice?
Craig: Isn't there always?
Megan: Do you always win at guessing games?
Craig: I don't guess, and I never miss.

***